I’ve got to be honest, I don’t go to the cinema much these days. Age 32 I didn’t think I would find myself in a situation where I can’t afford £12 to watch a movie but there we go. These things happen. Plus the problem with the cinema is that, unlike shopping at Primark, you can’t get a refund if you’re not happy with your purchase - as was the case with Spring Breakers. :0(
Honestly I wanted to like it so much. The American Apparel styling, the Skrillex soundtrack, the Pussy Riot inspired posters, James Franco channelling his inner Rick Ross and of course the Disney Mouseketeers getting fukkked up. It was so hipster it hurt. What’s not to love? The lack of plot apparently, but I’ll come to that.
This may surprise you but I am a sucker for bright colours and Spring Breakers was like one of those 60s technicolour films where everything just popped out of the screen. No need for 3D glasses here. No, no-one could acuse Spring Breakers of being subtle. From Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens singing Ultimate Teen Queen gone Bad, Britney Spears’ ‘HIT me baby’, to the repetition of key lines from the script, Director Harmony Korine is out to shock but the result looks more like a spread from Nylon magazine. It was much more effective with Kids (1995), which Korine wrote the Screenplay for.
And then, yes, we come to the plot. Or lack of. Spring Breakers seemed so long but I actually just looked it up and it was only 93 minutes. Uh oh. Korine should just have directed the video for Vanessa Hudgens’ single, ‘$$$ex’, made it more controversial/epic/tragic than Rihanna’s ‘We Found Love’ and Taylor Swift’s ‘Trouble’ combined and then we’d all have been happy. Selena Gomez might have felt left out but what can you do?
Johan Akanis my latest Crush. Spotted prowling the streets of Lyon by a model scout, he packed his bags and moved to Paris to find work. Currently in L.A., Johan is working on a TV commercial for a car company. He was also recently asked to be the face of ‘MisterBnB’, the new site from the MyGayTrip team. With a strong sense of what looks good on him, Johan often finds himself styling his own shoots, being asked to bring his own wardrobe to set. ‘I like to do styling myself,’ but there’s one designer he’s dying to be styled by, ‘Definitely Riccardo Tisci, for Givenchy. I love his aesthetic.’ So what’s next for Johan? Well, like a lot of models in his position he is faced with several options. Does he continue modelling? Or branch out into acting? Maybe he follows others into the world of porn? ‘Ah, no. I’ve been proposed but no thanks. I’m a fan and it’s inspired some of my favourite photographers like Terry Richardson, Elvis Di Fazio and in fact, designers too, like Tom Ford. And, I mean, Francois Sagat is one of the smartest and creative guys that I know. Plus he’s adorable (in his own way lol). And Wilfried Knight was such a nice guy….. But no no, it’s not for me.’ For now Johan wants to keep his options open, ‘Modelling isn’t easy, so I want to concentrate on this for now but if an acting opportunity presents itself I will jump on it.’ And before you pack your bags on a one-way trip to Paris to hunt down this handsome man, we have some bad news ‘Do I have a boyfriend? I do. The best one. I found THE one. He does more than love me. He teaches me to love myself.’ Aww…. well, let’s delve into that dark, sexy mane and see what secrets are buried deep inside instead, shall we?.
“I’m not interested in using lesbianism to get more attention. I am who I am. Whatever you see in my work, that’s me doing something that I think is beautiful, artistic and inspiring. It’s not meant to be like, ‘Oh my God, is she a lesbian? Has she kissed a girl?’”
I am still grappling with being a blogger. Sitting in my bed all day or buying one coffee while I drain various coffee shop’s wifi for hours does not feel like a job. That might be because of the lack of £££ rolling in but that’s another story.
One of the bloggers I have followed for the loooooongest time is Bradley Stern aka MuuMuse. From his obsession with Britney to ‘muusing’ (geddit?!) over what goes on inside Christina Aguilera’s head, Bradley features a great mix of reviews, interviews and fan fiction - which is always enjoyable.
If you haven’t had a read already, get your ass over there before Legendtina shuts it down. It sounds as if she’s already tried once…
How did MuuMuse start? I was home from school for winter vacation in 2007, doing a dull marketing internship in Connecticut, and had been reading other blogs—PopJustice, ChartRigger, XOLondon, etc—when I thought ‘Hey, I want to do this too.’ Simple as that, really. I’ve always been a massive music geek, especially about pop music outside of the US Top 40, and I wanted to have a forum to share that in my own personal voice and turn people on to new music. It kind of doubles as therapy. Also, if I didn’t find a creative outlet, I probably would have jumped out a window a long time ago. With the name I was trying to think of a new word. I originally wanted PopMuse, but the (very amazing) PopMuse already exists. So I opted for MuuMuse, combining ‘Music’ and ‘Musings.’
Now let’s see what secrets they’ve picked up over the years.
Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle did you want to be? Adrian: I was never a fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I wouldn’t like to live in the sewers. Shane: I didn’t really watch the TMNT but I did want to be He-Man, mainly for the harness and boots … and he rode a big cat.
What’s your favourite Diana Ross lyric? Adrian: “Every time you touch me, I become a hero” from ‘When You Tell Me That You Love Me’. I was a teenager when this came out. One night, I got very drunk at a teenage disco and was dancing to this song on top of a table, grabbing my crotch, when suddenly a bouncer shone a flashlight in my face and next thing I knew I was getting my coat. It was the first and only time I’ve ever been chucked out of a club. The shame of it all. Shane: “I’m in the middle of a chain reaction, You give me all the after midnight action.” Probably because I was an innocent 9 year old gay child singing about having sex …
It’s our first date. Where are we going? Adrian: Yikes. Let’s go to Tokyo and visit a cat cafe. We can drink coffee and fondle pussy. So much fun. And Tokyo is the coolest city in the world. Shane: It’s you, me and Anna Wintour in the front row of Tom Fords new A/W 2013 collection and we’re eating pot noodle … and Anna’s just dropped some acid in hers cos’ you know she’s mad like that … and then Tom comes out to take a bow and he spots me and asks me to leave with him … and I go … Thats an amazing first date … you’ll be talking about that for years … You’re welcome.
Which group were you in at High School? Adrian: I hated sports so I definitely wasn’t a jock. I hated school. I spent most of the time daydreaming and fantasising about being anywhere else. Shane: Probably girls who eat their feelings. I loved carbs … mashed potato in white bread sandwiches … for real.
If you got arrested for stalking anyone who would it most likely be? Adrian: Maybe Geri Halliwell. Anytime I’ve seen her I make a show of myself… Shane: I’m far too lazy to stalk but I’d probably stalk Tom Ford…and let him do anything to me…ANYTHING TOM!!!!
Who is your favourite supermodel? Adrian: There’s something about Linda Evangelista. I loved her in the Isaac Mizrahi documentary “Unzipped”. She seems like such a spoilt bitch. Funny though. Shane: Naomi Campbell, “babywoman”, Love and Tears, throwing mobiles at servants … she has got it all quite frankly.
What is the most expensive item of clothing in your wardrobe? Adrian: Mmmmmm, I’m not really into spending loads of money on clothes. Having said that, I recently splashed out on a Karl Lagerfeld jumper/sweater. Shane: A pair of Puma Black Label boots by Mihara Yasuhiro.
Which song do you wish you could hear again for the first time? Adrian: ‘Hung Up’ by Madonna is such a great track. It just blew me away when it first came out. Amazing on so many levels. Shane: ‘Scream and Shout’ by Will.I.AM and Britney … just for the shock value of Britney’s accent. We have started a petition for her to do an entire album of her singing in different accents, it would be so amazing.
Would you sleep with Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock (Alec Baldwin)? Adrian: Erm, no. Maybe if he was 30 years younger. Shane: Yes, he’s incredibly charming, beautiful eyes, funny … and hairy.
Finally, tell us a secret… Adrian: I’ve never been inappropriately touched by a catholic priest. Shane: I once peed at a urinal next to Will Young at Horse Meat Disco and I didn’t look … I’m a gentleman … a stupid, stupid gentleman.